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All Leaders Need to Practice Emotional Intelligence. Here's Why (Part 1)


Emotional Intelligence

Effectively navigating the "human element" of work is one of the most critical jobs of a leader. It's often what separates a struggling manager from a truly great one. This ability hinges on one key area: Emotional Intelligence (EQ).


While EQ is essential for success, many leaders still struggle to develop it.

For those unfamiliar, emotional intelligence is the ability to notice, understand, and manage your own emotions and also to recognize and influence the emotions of others.

You can't manage your team's emotions if you can't manage your own.


That's why this article (Part 1 of a series) focuses solely on internal emotional intelligence: how you lead yourself.


(Next week, I'll cover the external side—managing your impact on teams and stakeholders.)


The Leader's Internal State (Self Emotional Intelligence)

I've noticed a clear pattern in my career: the best leaders are highly in-tune with their own emotions and, by extension, their team's. The opposite is also true. Poor leaders often lack the ability to manage either.

So, what happens when a leader lacks internal EQ?

You become purely reactive. You might not realize you're stressed until you're completely burnt out. This internal state inevitably impacts every single interaction you have with your team, clients, and stakeholders. A short temper, dismissiveness, or visible anxiety can derail a project and destroy psychological safety.


The 2 Skills to Develop

Mastering your internal state comes down to two core skills:


  1. Emotional Self-Awareness: The ability to simply notice what you're feeling and why. (e.g., "I'm feeling defensive in this meeting because I'm worried this project is off track.")

  2. Self-Regulation: The ability to manage those emotions instead of letting them manage you. (e.g., "I feel defensive, but I will not lash out. I will listen and ask clarifying questions instead.")



How to Build Your Internal EQ

These skills don't appear overnight. They require daily, intentional practice. Here are a few personal tips that have worked for me:


  • Daily Journaling: Spend just 5-10 minutes writing down your emotions. Don't judge them, just name them. This builds the "muscle" of self-awareness.

  • Staying Present: Use small mindfulness techniques. Take three deep breaths before you join a difficult meeting. Do a quick check-in: "What am I feeling right now?"

  • Tracking Wins & Appreciations: I make a point to write down my wins and appreciations daily. This practice helps regulate my mindset, build emotional resilience, and focus on the positive.


When I first committed to this, the improvements were clear and tangible:


  • Better relationships with my team and stakeholders.

  • Improved personal mental health and reduced stress.

  • Stronger, more decisive leadership skills.

  • Enhanced decision-making (less "gut reaction," more "thoughtful response").



Conclusion

Emotional Intelligence is one of the most valuable, high-ROI tools in any leader's toolbox. Spend time understanding your own internal state, and you will see a marked improvement in your relationships and your team's performance.

For all the leaders reading this: How do you stay aware of your own emotional state during a busy workday?

 
 
 

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