All Leaders Need to Practice Emotional Intelligence! Here's Why (Part 2)
- Darius Gordon
- Nov 17
- 2 min read
As a leader, your success isn't just about managing tasks and timelines; it's about your ability to work with people effectively. In Part 1, we discussed the foundation of Emotional Intelligence (EQ): how to regulate your own internal emotions.
Now, we focus on the other half of the equation.
Just to refresh, emotional intelligence is the ability to notice, understand, and manage your own emotions and also to recognize and influence the emotions of other people.
This article focuses on that external side: How does your EQ affect how well you work with your team and stakeholders?
Why External Emotional Intelligence is Non-Negotiable
When a leader lacks external emotional intelligence, the impact is immediate and damaging:
It Disrupts Relationships: Teams feel misunderstood, and stakeholders feel ignored. This creates friction and erodes trust.
You Miss the Mark: You become unable to identify what your team, stakeholders, or clients truly need or expect. This leads to missed requirements and misaligned goals.
Motivation Plummets: If you can't understand what drives your team or what concerns your stakeholders, you will be completely unable to motivate them toward a common goal.
The 2 Skills to Develop for External EQ
Mastering your external awareness comes down to two critical skills:
Empathy: This is the core of social awareness. It's the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and genuinely understand their perspective, even if you don't agree with it.
Social Skills (or Relationship Management): This is where you turn empathy into action. It includes your communication style, your ability to build rapport, and how you inspire and influence others. A key part of this is asking the proper questions—not just to get information, but to understand the feeling behind the words.
A Strategy to Improve Your External EQ
These skills, like the internal ones, are built through practice. Here are a few simple strategies I use to stay aware of the emotions of others:
Create a True "Open-Door Policy": This is more than just a phrase. It means actively creating a safe environment where your team feels comfortable sharing concerns without fear of negative consequences.
Ask the Right Questions: Go beyond "What's the status?" Ask questions like: "What's your biggest concern with this approach?" or "How are you feeling about the timeline?" Then, actively listen to the answer.
Build Relationships Intentionally: Don't let your interactions be purely transactional. Take five minutes to ask about your stakeholder's weekend or your teammate's a personal-level interest. This builds the foundation of trust needed for tough conversations.
When you consistently practice these skills, the improvements are profound:
Better Team Morale: Your team feels seen, heard, and valued.
Clearer Client Acceptance Criteria: You truly understand the why behind a client's request, not just the what.
Stronger Negotiation Skills: You can find win-win solutions because you understand the other party's underlying motivations and needs.
Conclusion
Emotional Intelligence is a powerful tool. By practicing external EQ each day, you will dramatically improve your team's performance and your ability to successfully manage your stakeholders.
For all the leaders reading this: How do you ensure you have true stakeholder buy-in throughout a project's lifecycle?
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